A long Forced Hiatus

Hello again everyone, I trust that most of you have been doing okay? I'm alright, not very good but alright. Seems that today mom wants me to get a prepaid number instead of the registered one I've been using all along, so FYI, my number's changed, Jess Renny please take note. You can't call me for dota on a number that isn't working anymore. I'll tell you what my number is when I actually get it and decide.

Painful experience. Recently my internet decided to die on me. I, being me, overreacted to it again. I should really change my priorities and views on life, this one isn't really getting me anywhere. As annoying as communications disruptions are, they are hardly life threatening, so I should stop whining about them so much. I"m really sorry Petrina, I guess i put you through a lot of stress just because i was getting all worked up about nothing. Thats when my perfectionistic side becomes more of a bane than a boon. If anything goes wrong at all, I sometimes react very strongly towards them, often with a magnitude unjustified by the cause of the problem itself. For example, I'm pretty worked up about the whole phone thing even though it shouldn't make a very large difference in the way I live, yet I am so worked up about it. Really, I should be more emotionally stable. I don't like the way i am and I could definitely improve myself. It'll take time and support though.

Selfishness...I'm being really selfish. When I act sometimes I never think about how it affects others, only myself. I've struggled with this problem for a very long time. Nowadays, I'm far better than I was, but still I'm not as considerate as I should be, but that being said, is selfishness a good or bad thing? More secular people would put forward an argument that you'll never get rich by giving all u have to other causes no matter how noble or important the cause is. Conversely, shouldn't we, as Christians, help others unselfishly and generously, as we are commanded? Living a Christian life isn't easy. In so many ways, we can never fit in with the world, and there's a great price to pay for it. Because of our convictions, we'll never be able to live the life that so many people are striving for. Sometimes, our actions are frowned upon by society and brushed aside as something "naive" or just plain stupid. In the world's eyes, we're seldom considered successes. Its a hard life, and in the end, whether to take it or not depends on your convictions. How important is this to you? I'm looking for feedback on this topic btw.