Christmas time

I'm back in KK. They let us off for a month. I spent a week+ of it in KL. I needed to do something. See people who I dearly miss. If there's anything I've learnt about life is that its painful and joyful all at the same time. Full of hope and promise...also filled with the burnt out wrecks of dreams long put to rest. Sometimes you wanna give it all up but then again, who knows what waits for you as you amble down this long and winding road called life. I feel that I've made mistakes in my life. Life changing mistakes. I'll never know what would have happened if I had just listened to mom, stayed conservative and continued on a more.....usual path. It seems that it was not meant to be. Circumstances and most of all, my stubborn sense of ego and ambition, all conspired like villains in a novel to bring me where I am today. Well, whatever it is, I believe that I'm ont here by accident, even though it seems like it was an accident. I believe God still has a plan for me, that whatever it is I've done in the past he still has plans for my future, that he won't leave me behind.

Well, a long story short, my trip to KL was very....productive. A lot of smiles were given, and tears were shed, at least on my part. Still, I feel a quiet sense of relief and accomplishment. The only thing for sure about my future is that its going to be a long hard road uphill. I'm game for it. With God's help I can do anything.

Its Christmas time again, A time to give and forgive. Remember that evil aunt who used to compare you to her smug children? Or that friend who never called? Remember them all this Christmas. Its time to forgive past hurts and move on, even if the other person doesn't deserve it. You see, God gave us forgiveness that we didn't deserve, and we are called to do the same to those around us.

My friend Carynn asked me if I prayed before every flight on the flight from Kota Bharu to KL this time around. Being the arrogant, fighter jock wannabe I am, I laughingly told her I didn't. It seemed nonsensical to me at the time. Planes are by and large safe, but accidents do happen. Looks like I'm going to start praying from now on.

Someone said to me " Flying is risky business". He was right. That night, when I went home I saw on the news feed, that an F/A-18D Hornet had crashed into a family home in the United States. It goes to show how risky this job is. The F-18 in question was based at Miramar Naval Air Station. For those of you who are uninitiated, that is the Fighter Combat School for the United States Navy. In short, Miramar Air Station is also known as "Top Gun". Yes, the pilot was one of the best in the world. A naval Aviator who was in the top 10% of all pilots in the US Navy. Still, his plane malfunctioned, the engines failed and he had to crash it into some houses surrounding the airfield.

The pilot was unhurt, he ejected safely. The occupants of the house were not so lucky. A Korean family lived there,

In this excerpt from CNN, you can see what I mean:

"Authorities said four people died when the jet crashed into the Yoon family's house while the pilot was trying to reach nearby Marine Corps Air Station Miramar. Another unoccupied house also was destroyed.

Yoon named the victims as his infant daughter Rachel, who was born less than two months ago; his 15-month-old daughter Grace; his wife, Young Mi Yoon, 36; and her 60-year-old mother, Suk Im Kim, who he said had come to the United States from Korea recently to help take care of the children.

"Please pray for him not to suffer from this accident," a distraught Dong Yun Yoon told reporters gathered near the site of Monday's crash of an F/A-18D jet in San Diego's University City community.

"He is one of our treasures for the country," Yoon said in accented English punctuated by long pauses while he tried to maintain his composure.

"I don't blame him. I don't have any hard feelings. I know he did everything he could," said Yoon, flanked by members of San Diego's Korean community, relatives and members from the family's church. "

How can a man who has dealt with such loss, a new wife, his mother and children, gone in an instant be so forgiving? If there's anything that we can learn about this is that no matter what happens, we should always learn to forgive. It does no one any good to keep a grudge. My prayers go out to this man at this unfortunate time of loss. Frankly speaking, I don't know what I'd do if that had happened to me. If the wife I loved dearly, who I'd gladly give my life for, had died in such a horrific accident, along with my new family, I don't know what I'd do. In church we learnt that whatever happens to us, we must always move forward, like David did after the death of his son. To partake in the promise of God we mnust always strive forward no matter what happens, always believing it to be God's will. Still, its easier said that done. Its just one of the things that really moved me. How this man could be so forgiving when all that he loved, treasured and worked for was one in a flash. I can't comprehend the insurmountable amount of grief that fills his heart. Many Christians would not have forgived and might even have gone as far as to blame God for their troubles. Many would turn away from God. This man's selfless act of forgiveness is an example for us, on what we must do when God tests our faith. I pray that we'll never have to face such a tragedy in our lives, but we don't know what will happen to us.

To me, this year, Christmas is a time for forgiveness and giving. I need to prepare for what lies ahead. Next year is a new year, and I'll be challenged further. I don't see how I'm going to survive this without God's help. I don't know if my very sketchy, vague and at the most optimistic plans for the future will come to fruition. Then again, I trust my life in God's hands. There are decisions that i can't make. I can only pray and hope for the best. This accident reminded me of how fragile life is. How futile human planning is. I'm sure that he planned to grow old with his beloved wife, watch his children grow up and go to college, get married and have kids of their own. All that is now a distant memory, gone in a flash. Pray for him...and God bless their souls.